Last Friday Night.

Heart beats fast 

Colors and promises 

How to be brave

How can I love when 

I'm afraid 

To fall But watching you stand alone 

All of my doubt Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you 

Darlin' don't be afraid

I have loved you for a Thousand years 

I'll love you for a Thousand more…

This was the opening theme song of the prom night, Last Friday Night. This song was performed by Foong(guitarist) and his talented gang members along with Yenn(vocals), Radin(vocals) and DunHe(guitarist). This song was dedicated to a girl whom the boy loves and that he vows that he'll love her for a thousand years. It was really sweet to see such dedication to someone. While I was listening to the song, my heart somehow stung a little and I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I actually cursed them for playing the song. Everyone was enjoying the food at the food service provided. My stomach wasn't peculiarly rumbling at all. All I could hear was my excitement and rejoicings that I once felt had entirely deluged with blues. They performed several songs on the stage. Somehow my spirit for the prom was deflating. I didn't eat much except for the fresh fruits that Yinfun and Enqi took. I was staring at the place where he was dining. Funny to say but I actually caught glances of him staring back at me…

I ran away when they were halfway performing as I couldn't condone the atmosphere in the hall. There Jiayin and I were stranding in the deserted island trying to seek the attention from their lover's. Eventually we sat outside of the couch foolishly listening to our own songs while people in the hall were jamming crazily. There I was, scrolling up and down my twitter timeline. I happened to stumble upon Exo's performance in SBS2013 Gayo Daejun( doubtful about the spelling). Watching them performing ease me a little. Then, rapid knocking sounds of high heels were emitting from the stairs and Jiayin and I both exchanged quizzical looks. It was Liven. Me:"What are you doing out here?" Liven:"Some girls are performing on stage and throwing a very sexy stage. He dashed his way into the hall without a word." Me:"Welcome to the club." Liven:" I saw your partner just now. I whacked his asses off to come out and look for you. All he said was 'Why do I even care? We're already broke up.' After hearing this sentence, I hadn't been talking ever since. I engrossed myself in my music. Not long, Hey yoong came out and grabbed Liven's hand and went back into the hall dancing. While listening to the musics, my tears were welling violently, I tried to fight back but eventually there was a teardrop around the corner of my eye. Jiayin was so startled to see me holding a tissue paper. When I was wiping off my tears, he dropped by to see my humiliation. Got his greetings and comforts. He asked me to join the party. I hesitated. Without a word, he grabbed hold hold my shoes and hands and the next thing I knew, I left Jiayin all alone. Sorry Babe…

When I stepped into the hall, the scene had changed completely. Smokes were billowing and I somehow felt so drowsy. I was bare footed. He pushed me into the dance floor. I could hear people roaring and cheering but I wasn't happy at all because I knew that he'd dump me after this for the lovely and beautiful seniors. So then one the song 'Can I have this dance' played during the slowdance, I was glad that I was dancing with him. We spoke. My intuition was right, HE DID DUMP me because of the seniors HAHA. There I was despair and numb. I went back for Jiayin.

Talking to Jiayin has always make me feel good. She knows me very well. I witnessed every bullshit at the hall. For once, I felt like going away and never turned back. As I was talking to Yinfun and Jiayin, he came back for me again. Then we danced. Then he chucked me to Foong. Yes, the prom king. I danced with him when 'slow dancing in the burning room' was played. We had a little chat. And awh, I'm going to miss him because he's so cute HAHAHAH. So yeah, I was a little cheered.

Basically, I felt really ugly and depressed last night. Yesterday wasn't really my day at all. I almost smeared my face with mascara, nearly lost my clutch, got dumped, legs sore and last but not least I didn't even get to have an xoxo. There were two moments which I actually got cheered up. Firstly, it was at beginning of the prom where songs were synchronising. One of songs were "WOLF by EXO." My happiness were burgeoning and I was revived! I was jamming to the song along with Yinfun. Yeah, she's the only girl besides Jiayin who would kindly go crazy with me because of Exo. Secondly and most importantly, I'm so happy for Jiayin! She was not only the star of my night but she got to dance with her crush. And it was utterly thanks to me. LIM JIAYIN, YOU HAVE BETTER PAY TRIBUTE TO ME OR ELSE. She was smiling all the way after having a dance with her crush:p

I actually vowed not to bother him after yesterday night. I vowed not to be crying over split milks. I vowed to tell myself that they're mere seniors and juniors dancing for the last night. But I just couldn't do it. I hate myself. In conclusion, I didn't enjoy myself at all. Sorry to say that.
I'll wait. Hopefully you will not forget me. Haha…

Here's a song entitled Open Arms to end my grave of this blog post.

Lying beside you here in the dark 

Feeling your heart beat with mine 

Softly you whisper, you're so sincere 

How could our love be so blind?

We sailed on together 

We drifted apart

 And here you are by my side

So now I come to you with open arms

 Nothing to hide, believe what I say

 So here I am with open arms 

Hoping you'll see what your love means to me, open arms

Living without you, living alone This empty house seems so cold 

Wanting to hold you, wanting you near 

How much I wanted you home

That's all for now. I repent if my post is too lousy. Xoxo:)

Damn day

Today is the day where I receive my PMR results. My intuition was right after all. I'm going to have to kiss my London trip goodbye:( Yea, that's the deal: The ticket to London will be on my hands but based on one condition YOU HAVE TO GET STRAIGHT As. Technically, practically and evidently I have lost this golden opportunity. Talk to the hand, I don't want any negotiations. If I can't get my ticket to London, I'm out.  No negotiations. No hassles. No arguments. No chaos. No nothing. I've been picturing myself in London but now it's all dissipating… All I can do right now is to accept this ugly truth. *WAILS*  ㅠ ㅠ ㅠ ㅠ ㅠ

I called my dad initially because my mum didn't pick up her phone. He said something that really teared up my eyes. "It's okay that you couldn't get straight A's. What matter's that you've done your best." Though the words are succinctly made up, it rendered me tears. At that moment, my eyes were welled with tears and my voice were trembling. I acted that way not because of my results but because of my dad. He's just so sweet. Omg. Like literally. I'd have burst into a cataract if he said that in front of me. Damn.

Besides my dad, there's another person that really sought for me. She called me the hour before the results were announced. The way she spoke to me was a sisterly loved manner. How do I describe this urm… Do you know the feeling when you're almost chucked in the deep hole and was striving hard to climb back up when suddenly there was this message indicating you that the writer has always been in vigilance for you without you reliasing it? Yea well that's what she did. Words can't tribute how overwhelmed and touched I was when I saw her name appearing on my in-coming call. It's a sisterly loved <3 Love ya<33

The one who really wrecked my heart is my boyfriend. Wtf. He didn't come to me at all. NO CHEER UP MESSAGE. NO GREETINGS. NO NOTHING. WHADDAF. Do you know how disappointed am I?! I was expecting you to seek for me and talk to me. Did you? NO YOU DIDN'T. Right now, I don't even know your results. I'm not upset with my results I'm upset because of you. I wanted to know your results. I wanted to know how have you been doing. I wanted to know everything. But did you tell me? No you dont even bother to tell me. Not at all. Seems like you don't even care about me. I'm so frustrated thanks to you. I'm so disappointed thanks to you. Everyone assumed that I'm desolated because of my results yet they're are wrong. I already have in mind that my results won't turn out the way that I expected and so it did. All I want is your concerns. That's all.

I'm so fucked up when everyone assumed that I'm crying over my results whereas on the contrary, I'm crying over him.

Ardent but wretched

The sounding of the cataract

Haunted him like a passion: the tall rock,

The mountain, and the deep and gloomy wood,

Their colours and their forms, were then to him

An appetite; a feeling, and a love,

That had no need of a remoter charm,

By thought supplied, or any interest

Unborrow'd from the eye. 

Adapted from Mark Shelly's Frankenstein

1 more day to Doomsday...

That's all for now. Ciao, xoxo :)

Double Date :D

First and foremost I would like to pay tribute to Hey Yoong for picking me up to The Curve. Words can't explain how gratified I am.

Here's a recap of what I've done on my double date:)

①Cinema(The counter)
•There were 2 movies to choose from and that is "Frozen"&"Captain Philips". After a few fusses, all of us had opted for the latter. The funny part was Liven and her boy weren't sitting next to us, they chose to sit behind us as they would want to spy on us kissing each other. Lol much?

②Subway
•My stomach was evidently growling and rumbling after all the commotions. He decided to take me to Subway for lunch whereas Liven, she went to Sushi King for lunch. My girl is rich right? And so wre scattered for lunch and decided to meet each other at the roller rink after lunch.

③Roller Rink
•After filling up my stomach, the both of us made the first move to the roller rink. As usual the ritual things that we always do before entering the rink. After putting on the skates and the gloves, I arrived myself in the ice skating arena. Initially, I gripped tightly on the rail as though I would slip without it. With the help of the rail supporting my balance, I manage to "skate" slowly. I've been to ice skating twice. I must have mastered the basics yet it was a contrast. Without a word, he grabbed hold of my pathetic hands and skated all the way. I was really terrified that I might trip even with his hands around me. Thus I screamed and wailed, muttering "OMG, OMG, OMG. STOP IT." Occasionally once I got my balance and was trying to skate at the centre of the arena, unexpectedly he pushed me from behind for a faster speed(his hands were behind my waist). I was undoubtedly clenching my fists on his arm. He switched his position from the back to the front. He gripped my hand. All this time, he was holding my hand while skating. I felt bad for making him to hold my hand entirely because I had somehow restrained him from skating. I also felt bad towards my annoyance. I hate myself.  HAHAHA. An hour later, Liven had arrived. I can tell that she was petrified. She was screaming too. Unexpectedly, her boy was there to guide her. Too bad she didn't get to skate around the centre.(I guess?) Yeah so after skating a few rounds, I decided to quit skating as my legs were sore. I went up and kept an eye on him and Liven. HAHAHA. In the beginning Liven was laughing me but guess who's laughing right now? HAHAHAHA. Liven then went up and we had a little girl's talk:3 After that, the boys went up and we decided to leave the rink as it was nearly time for the movie.

④Theater room
•I don't exactly remember why I was late to the theater room though… Alright doesn't matter. Due to the shortage of water he decided to stop by the counter for some refreshments and I was required to go in to the room by myself. I was scared to go in the room myself. I wanted to go in together with him but eventually I went in by myself. On my way to the theater room, the corridors were immaculate and quiet. Nobody passed. As I followed the path, I stopped as I thought I was lost. Thank God there was a staff behind me and I asked for my way to room 15. When my ass was seated comfortablely, Liven and her boy were surprised to see that I'm alone. And I explained. The movie started a few minutes later, he came in. I thanked God man. HAHAHA. The movie was a total piece of shit. Neither of us enjoyed it. After some time, the theater had got colder and colder. We were freezing. And yeah ekhem you guys know. I won't state anymore details on this. HAHAHA. After watching the movie, all of us were desperately going to the toilet. Liven and I got a chance to talk and we got lost after going to the toilet. We were so dumb -.-"

⑤Roller rink
We scattered after the movie. Syl and I went for ice skating whereas the other two love birds went shopping. The both of us had some breads before heading to the roller rink. Then I realised that I lost one of my glove and I had no choice but to buy a new pair. Wasted my money -.- Carry on. We skated merrily. HAHAHA.

⑥Borders
You wouldn't believe that we would actually go to the book shop wouldn't you guys? HAHA. Well, indeed we went there. He was at the magazine section whereas I was at the "self-improvement" section. I was poring over "Chicken soup for the soul-Teenage version." The book intrigued me. There he was, paying all of his attention on a magazine. Tbh, I was surprised! HAHAHA.

⑦Kim Gary
I GOT HUNGRY AGAIN. He escorted me to Kim Gary for dinner. It was a subtle dinner until hey yoong came in-- He was causing all the racquets until Liven scolded him. Thank you for that. Syl paid for my dinner. I feel so guilty urgh.
Later on we walked around the shopping mall and took some photos while waiting for Liven's mum. It was splendour:) It was an ecstacy to be able to hang out with him. Hopefully there'll be another double date too. Or a triple date perhaps? Hehehe.

That's all for now. Enjoy reading! Au revoir•Xoxo :)

Birthday Shoutout!

Happy Birthday Shywee! I know you've been waiting for this day long enough. Congratulations that you're officially 15! Have tones of fun and always be happy!

I miss all those with you in class where you  confined your hardships with us. I really love how you always dicussed your fears and miseries with us openly. I'm sorry for hating you in the beginning of the year. I'm sorry for I couldn't talk to you as much as I've wanted.

You're such an awesome friend. Indeed you are. I'll never forget the moment you offered to take a paloroid with me at LianHuan Hui. I perceived the idea of taking the photo but since you wanted it I dared not to have it. Hopefully we will get to take loads of photos in the future! Oh and remember the time we were in Cameron? That was the most precious moments that we ever shared. Back in the apartment, you were growling and shedding emotionally at the same time. Well that wasn't the only you behaved in such manner. Whenever you were feeling down in class, I had always tried to reach out but it was in vain. I'm not a good counselor. That's why I always listen to your shits instead of voicing out because I don't know how to express my opinion well.

I'm really going to miss you because we will not be able to stay in the same class next year. This has been a wonderful year studying with you, yinfun, enqi and shikei in 3A. Have I ever mentioned that you guys are the only ones whom I could pay full attention when studying in a group? I don't deny that the fact you guys really study smart and play hard. Unlike some ppl (zzz). Oh and the bazaar we had. The delicious glutinous dumplings we made in Enqi's house. Your epic and funny expressions in Enqi's house(lol). What a day it was!

Lastly, I thank God for rendering me such a constant and thoughtful friend. Thank you so much for being my friend. All the best in the future.

Once again, happy birthday my pal:)

*That's the only photo I had with you. More photos and memories will be made. Hehe.*

That's all for now. Au Revoir•Xoxo :)

La Salution

Lush of meadows are starting to languish. Whenever the gale pays a visit, leaves from the branches no longer sway; every piece of the leaves are falling gradually to the ground. Thus the ground is teeming with fallen golden leaves rendering the garden a piece of "Golden dessert". Occasionally, it can be dreary,cold and a month without sunshine. Hitherto, poignant thoughts will start to haunt you, stab you and even falter you…

Hey readers! We've arrived November the month where Autumn occurs in the Northern hemisphere. Well, I pray for the residence in the Northern hemisphere could be in the pink of health and put on as many clothing as they can. :D

Here are some of my activities in October. Basically, I shared lots of joy and tears at the same time during this month. Before starting off, I want to say that, I'm glad to have these 2 girls in my life. This girl, she really cherish our friendship. She apologised even though it's my fault. Thank you, for being rueful towards my childish behavior. There's this another girl, she gave me really good advice. I'm reading the message over again and again everyday. Thank you for treating me as your little sister. I feel really warm when you 2 approach me when I'm in needy. Thank you dears for everything♥

1/10-8/10 : Stuck with PMR. Fingers crossed that I can achieve my goals.
9/10-10/10 : Drooling on EXO.
11/10-13/10 : My very first trip after PMR to Melaka with Liven&Jiayin. I had the most amazing time with them. We slept at around 4 the first night due to the gossips. Yeah, who could resist gossip? The following day, we slept at 2am. Basically we did a lot of chit chatting during this trip. Love the two of them :3
16/10 : I went to The Curve for Karaoke session and Ice Skating with my classmates. I'm telling you, Yinfun, Enqi, Shywee and Shikei, they're AWESOME. I still feel regretful about what happened during the beginning of the year. I really thought that we couldn't make it out but who ever knew that we actually have the chance to hang out! Really unexpected yo! Still, love you guys :3
17/10-25/10: Fangirling over Exo as usual. Fawning on Yeol's biceps and Sehun's perfect "S line" body. Dropping by Jiayin's house every 2 days. Crying over his negligence. (Erm okay)
26/10-31/10: Well, check out my blog for more enquiries.

Yes, these have been my activities in October. Might have left some details. Anyways, whatever no one even gives a shit about my dumb blog. Hmph, well there's actually nothing much for my November's resolution though there's one thing… I wish I could have abs!! Dang, I want to look good in prom TT.

That's all for now. Enjoy! Ciao•Xoxo :)

Yinfun looks like Suho here :P
Enqi looks shy :3
I look retarded -.-

Love:The One Creative Force

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness;kindness in your face;kindness in your eyes;kindness in your smile;kindness in your warm greeting." —Mother Theresa(slightly amended)

This post is dedicated to the two girls whom I most treasured. They're Liven and Jiayin.

Liven my dear, I want to tell you don't get too attached with him. Don't get too engrossed with his sweet talks. You'll get yourself hurt eventually. We know his true colours. I'm not trying to bash him or pick on him, but as your best friend, I have to protect you. You're one of the most naive&gullible girl I've ever stumbled upon. You cry every time your relationship ends. You get upset whenever he doesn't make a phone call. Relationship by relationship, I'm really sick of it. Sick of you crying over split milk. Think prudently what will happen in the future when you're with him. On the contrary, if the pig does get to fly, I will approve(erm?) your relationship between him. No matter what happens, I'll always be your side:)

Jiayin my Jiayin. My precious Jiayin. You've been having crush on some guy ever since form 1. To be frank, I was actually astonished to see that. I mean to me you were a study looking girl who strives hard for her academics. But my goodness, who would know that you have turned out to be having crushes on someone haha! Well, I heard and witnessed your hardship. I know every guy you have a crush on eventually doesn't get to be entwined. Your heart has been wrecked into pieces yet nobody has ever there to pick up the broken pieces. However, you don't really have to wait for the right person to elevate your life. I don't really think that you really like your current crush. Perhaps you just want to feel what it's like to be in love, to be involved in a relationship. You're a wise girl. Try to think about it. Remember if you need me just call me anytime anywhere:)

Girls, I'm sorry if I've offended you lot. But I'm just voicing out my opinions towards the issues you lot are facing. I'm sorry if I'm writing bullshits. I'll always be there if you need me.

That's all. Ciao•Xoxo ;)

Memories.

The picture says it all. I remembered distinctly how we started talking. You approached me through Facebook messages. Back then all we talked about were K-pop. "Jessica is the best!" "NO. Taeyeon is the best!'' You tend to tease me EVEN NOW. Due to the enormously expensive internet bills, we switched our conversation method from FB to text messages. We chatted till late night. Really late. To be honest, I actually enjoyed those late night talks & messages. I really liked them. ♥

When could we go back to the old days where you and I could chat from dawn to dusk?

That's that. Ciao•Xoxo:)