For the past 3 weeks I had been submerged and enshrouded in the sea of depression. No kidding. Sometimes I can be on top of the world, sometimes I can be dragged down to the dumps. It's terrifying and draining me emotionally. I've lost couple inches of busts that my mum noticed. I have always been eating but not as big portion as I used to. I wasn't being myself for the past 3 weeks, as if she had been summoned to the underworld.
Fortunately I've been reaching out my friends. Some gave me remarkably positive and rational advice whereas some gave me cynical and condescending advice. Either way, it's my choice to whether adhere to them. I want to immensely and gingerly thank Cheryl, for she was the one who had seen my utmost devastation, comforting me, caring for me even though we've only each other for a year and 3 months. And also my cousin, Tze Wei. Thank you for picking up the phone whenever I'm not on my right track and your endless rational take on depression and relationships. Thank you for giving me your space in HK. Lastly, Liven. I don't know how to put this but thank you for allowing me to barge into your house and the vacancy to pour my soul and emotions out until late 12 midnight.
I've been undergoing 'rehabilitation' for my state. I have been surrounding myself with friends and confiding college friends whom I'm not even close with. Thank you Elia and Anchita. Ugh it was so embarrassing but thank you for lending me your shoulders. And you guys are the wisest though being younger at my age.
I was at my utmost downfall for the past 3 weeks. People often perceive me as the bubbly, carefree and strong girl who doesn't bother any obstacles ahead. Yes, I AM that kind of person. I am always laid back during the exams and genial to all criticisms. For the past 3 weeks, I've realised that even the strongest person will have their meltdown point. When that happens, they'll either go resilient or lash them out.
However, I firmly believe in myself that all these are just temporary. That it's okay to let it all out for the time being. When everything's all resolved, you'll feel a flush of relief.The badass, studios(not exactly), carefree, bubbly Kahmun is somewhere buried deep down inside. I'll have to find a way to dig her out from this sea of depression. She's been trying to swim back up shore, but she'll be back. She's witty, genial and last but not least she's fearless. Wait for her comeback. X
