Wednesday, 11 October 2017

How are you?

That is the very first inquiry being stumbled upon in almost every encounter. People around me are concerned with my emotional and mental tides. They question my relationship status, my physical appearance (hair, hands, weight, skin), my makeup, my attitude, my laughter, my sadness etc. Mostly, I get flooded with my university life. Is it boring? Do you like the course you're studying? Are the lectures professional? Etc. Well, here's my life in university.

I started university at the end of August; ahead of most UK universities. And no, I am still marooned in Malaysia unfortunately. It was just another ordinary day driving to university. The traffic was moderate, the road was paved, the cars were wheezing past me. However, there was a swarm a panic attack in me when I stepped into the lecture room: It had been quite some time since the last time I stepped foot into a classroom, mingling around with a group of students and studying in the same room. Hence, the instant panic attack swerved right in the pit of my stomach. Thankfully, my friends from MCKL were there, and the panic ebbed. Classes went on the rest of the day. The first week of class were just a mere introduction to the core subjects that I would be taking in the first semester. Oh wait, I am a International Business Management Year 1. Classes were ordinary but I finally got to "savour" the bittersweet assignments that most students were dreaded. Though ardous, I actually find joy in completing them: hours and hours of information research and to put them into 1,500 words of essay, now that's something that I have never done in my whole life. Coming from a purely rigid A-level system, assignments were definitely something that I kinda looking forward to. In the past, everything came down to this final crucial exam; however in university, my assessment is separated into 2 distinctive parts. Some subjects carry 50% weightage whereas some (Commercial Law) carry 30% of coursework. Referencing and plagiarising are foreign to me. I am still trying to get used to writing my referencing and avoiding plagiarism.

For those who have known me since the good high school and MCKL days, you know this girl is known as the Tupperware, diligently packs her lunch to school all year long. This makes no difference in university life too. Reason being, there is critically lack of food supplies in my vicinity. I wanted to break out my comfort zone and start venturing out for food hunts in university but unfortunately Tupperware is still my best friend. Apart of me feels grateful and relief that I still get to devour deliciously healthy homecook food, apart of me feels passive as there is lack of social relationships between my friends. However to much of my surprise, everyone in my university packs their lunch. To be exact, majority of the Chinese packs their lunch. Other races such as Malays, Indians, Arabians, Europeans mostly purchase food from the cafeteria.

I drive to university everyday. Many people are shocked by my transportation. I drive 120km/hr on average thus it only takes me a good 45-50 minutes to reach my university. However, it will take a 2 hour to reach my destination if i were to be caught in a traffic jam. Look at the huge duration. I drive really swiftly because I enjoy the high speed wheezed of my car. This 50 minute of car journey is not as severe as I would have pictured. It is a 50 minute of full speed not a long journey of stationary mode eg Sunway and Subang. Bless these friends who have to suffer rush hour jam daily. On a side note, I have a little companion with me every Monday and Friday. Her name is Cheryl! We were classmates for a year back in A-level English Literature and now we are not only classmates but we are more like sisters now. Bless to have her!

The people or the peers. Here comes the most anticipated question that everyone is dying to know - have you met any cute guys yet? Uh, honestly, no. I don't see anyone cute yet. Everyone in my class is so nerdy: they shuffle their bags and scuttle their way back home. I have tried asking them out but everyone insists of returning back to their hostel??? I don't get you people. On the contrary, I have joined Frisbee club and Running club. Boy, I have to say the people there are active in sports and guess what most of them are from engineering course. Unbelievable right? It is so ironic that Business students are so passive whereas the engineering students are active participants in those clubs.

Overall, I have to say university is a brand new start for me. I have suffered tremendously in 2017. I didn't know how did I even overcome it. Thinking back it now makes me realise that life, goes on. I am happier and I am so proud of myself. From a girl who couldn't even drive properly, hardly go out for lunch and now I am driving to an hours' drive of journey and even had my very first slice of pizza of the year. To the girl back then, let me tell you, you're stronger than you think.

Friday, 15 September 2017

Wild embers

Wild embers in the wilderness glow and glimmer,
They gleam; for darkness attempts to wallow and swallow, 
They flared eventually; for the sun shines and glows.

Our love was like the sun,
Potent, gallantry and dominant,
Alas, there was no locus of control.

There still shines a light to the loss:
The sun still stands and the solar still orbits,
Our youth is the beauty that emits,
Our future is the force that persists,
That perhaps someday time permits,
And somewhere we exist. 

If the ember dies, just remember that we once were;
Wild embers in the wilderness glow and glimmer,
They gleam; for darkness attempts to wallow and swallow, 
They flare eventually; for the sun shines and glows.

No regrets. No tempestuous heat. 
Just let the air gently blow.

/Quoting Nikita Gill from the title of my poem: same title, distinctive style of writing./