Saturday 1 April 2017

To you

It's been more than a month since the relationship ended. I had my utmost devastation for the past 2 weeks after breaking up. I couldn't have a proper appetite to be appeased; nor a well rest shut eye. You used to come and visit in my dreams, and every night I woke up feeling angst and anxious. 2 weeks after breaking up, I was completely morose and forlorn. People have been noticing a change in my body mass as much weight has been shed. The dark circles underneath my ears have gotten a few shades darker and I felt vapid as if I've lost part of my soul. I bawled occasionally and even googled remedies on how to get him back. How stupid was i you must be thinking. Haha. Imploring, crying and whining for his comeback etc. I've done all those. For those who are going through a heartbreak, it is completely normal to behave in such a way. It's the most natural thing to do when someone whom you've loved left you. Life is never a bed of roses, and tell yourself that it is a free permit to react absurdly.

What's the powerful thing on earth? I'd say time. All those depression, devastations, disappointments and discomfit that you might encounter them. Instead of curbing them, let loose of them. Let time do its magic. I wouldn't lie that it's going to be hard for me to move on.

 It's a 11month+ of beautiful memories, no fights, no bickering and no resentment. Just love and passion that we once shared. Of course it's hard, but I'm getting better day by day. Thank you so much for these beautiful and joyful memories. Thank you for treating me like a phoenix back then. Thank you for all the spontaneous trips from Malacca to Taiping to Kampar and to Penang. Thank you for always tolerating my nasty behaviour. Thank you for always waiting for my class to end and taking the train together back home.We fell head over heels for each other and this was also my very first time that I've ever truly madly and deeply in love in someone else. It feels like I've known you since forever. Your caress, your twitch, your hair, your pimples, your birthmark are so distinctive in my eye. Your smell always permeates homely masculinity in my vicinity. Your voice, yes the raspy yet dreamy voice of yours was what that really enchanted me during our first encounter. It really stings me that our story has ended but i have no regrets because we have made it our best and maybe we are not meant for each other. If you are reading this i'm pretty sure you'd be there holding another girl's hands and enjoying each other's company. I wish that you'd find your purpose and maybe just maybe you'll settle down even earlier than i do. Please remember to invite me to your wedding! 2016 will always be my favourite year and I'm so glad that you were the one I got to share my journey in a level at MCKL with you. You'll always be my favourite chapter in the book of my life. Though We may not be able finish this path together I wish the both of us the best of luck in future. We may not share that special bond anymore but I'll always have your back. For now, individuality is what matters to me. Focus on yourself and fruitfulness will just bear.